, this was made in gondolin before the fall. (cheers and applause) nation, i love new york city. the big apple, the city that never sleeps, rat xanadu. so i was crushed to learn the metropolis i know and love has changed, not one person was murdered in new york city on monday. nypd deputy commissioner paul brown couldn't even remember the last time a day went by where not one person was shot, stabbed or slashed. (laughter) >> stephen: what happened? i remember the real new york of the '80s, when in a single night you could score some weed, catch a times square porno and then get stabbed in the neck by a coked-up lou reed. and that was a pretty good first datement now times square has become a disney bubba gump wimp company. the worst that could happen is one of those giant m & ms tries to flash you its peanut. where is the thrilling dangerous city of midnight cowboy or taxi driver? >> you talking to me? >> stephen: i wish i was talking to you. (laughter) instead of i'm talking to her. supercalifragislisticexpiali -- supercalifragislisticexpiali [bleep] me. folk, i've had it, had it. this distu

and you just -- what is the down time in these cities? especially for a pitcher? >> well, if we are a three-game set against the nationals in washington, it's a great city, so i might go see a museum or i'll try to explore the culture of the city. if i'm not pitching that day. but you're at the park for a 7:00 game, i'm never at the park any later than 2:30. i mean, i'm trying to prepare for what i have to do in a couple days. >> jon: do a lot of guys go out and see the museums or -- (laughter) when you come back are they all like "hey, poindexter, what's going on?" (laughter) >> they respect their elders, it's okay. >> jon: that's an interesting point. so here's what's on -- it's incredible enough that a new york mets pitcher wins 20 games which hasn't been done since frank viola in 1980 something. you won the cy young award but you did it at you're 38 years old mastering a pitch that so few pitchers can master they've made a documentary about the maybe six or seven of you that have been able to pitch professionally at that level with that pitch. >> you know, it's funny, my car

missiles to drop into open fields or water and intercepting those headed for cities-- . >> jon: oh. thought it was just a yar mull can-- yarmulke. (applause) but missile defense system sounds pretty good too. hey, listen f anybody is interested in my design you know where to find me. here we are again, thankfully this skirmish ended before it could fulfill the myan 2012 prophecy. >> serious negotiations have resulted in a cease-fire in the middle east between israel and hamas. >> jon: you know are you in a difficult part 69 world when even the peace negotiations are furious. i'll stop shooting. >> no, i'll stop shooting! there is such a depressioning cyclical status quo where the untenable underlying conditions are never addressed. there are no winners here. or to put that a different way. >> who was the big winner do you think here? >> two clear win esches. >> who are the losers and who are the winners? (laughter) >> jon: you really miss the election, don't you? everything about the winners and losers in the horse race? even intractable bloodshed, just another chance to check this on whose

? >> in geneva as in new york city. >> but during the cold war when we were fighting the soviets our german scientists were better than their. >> different in different places. >> just want to make sure. explain to me again because i understand it when you explain it to me but the moment you leave the room it evaporates out of my head. >> coy explain that using science. >> okay, okay. what is the higg-bosan and why is it. >> so bag-- back in the day the early 60s fis quist-- physicists were try tounged stand the nuclear forces that hold together the nuclear a tomorrow and they couldn't. they kept coming up with this idea that it was spread out all over the place which it clearly doesn't so they came up with this bizarre-sounding idea that empath-- empty space is filled with an energy field every with. >> impossible. >> no, not-- we just got evidence that it's true. >> stephen: no, i'm going-- [bleep] because-- (laughter) >> stephen: it is not empty space if it is filled with something. checkmate. i wait your apology. >> this is why. these are supersmart scientists they figured out that even

one of the rules. downside, though, is now whenever i'm in another city, people are, like, "hey, let's go to a strip club," i've always got to chime in as the creepy dude who's, like, "hey, do you know if we're allowed to touch the girls?" hey, you guys were great. thank you very much. have a good night. captioning sponsored by triage entertainment group captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wghb.org captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart! we've got one for you tonight, man. we're not messing around. our guest tonight, noted -- (audience yells something) i'm sorry? i hope that was not an anti-semitic slur. our guest tonight -- (laughs) it's my birthday today so -- (cheers and applause) thank you for the kind wishes. (cheers and applause) thank you for the kind birthday wishes, again, thank you. very kind. but let's get to our show! the noted author and inventor neil young is going to be joining us. (cheers and applause) we begin tonight with the attacks on the u.s. consulate in benghazi, l

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